this beer tastes like vomit already
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
PANTIES FOUND
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