Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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