Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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