ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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