Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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