We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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