Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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