I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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