just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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