Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize