Your face is a jimmy john
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
