i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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