If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
