Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Even my vagina gasped.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
