I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
