Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
