every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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