This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
