shes about as inviting as chlamydia
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
