morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
