Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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