im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize