I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
