forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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