and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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