It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
