He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Did I show you my penis last night?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
