Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Randomize
