Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
