I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I need to calm my uterus...
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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