I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
