Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
