i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
