Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
