She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
