Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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