..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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