Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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