I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize