I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize