I just made out with a guy for $7.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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