so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
