Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
