I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
