just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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