You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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