I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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