The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
