somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Randomize
