Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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