Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize