i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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