You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Randomize
