I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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