He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize