whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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