Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
