on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
