They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
