big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
