you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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