Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
i've created a new STD.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
