At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize