Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
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