Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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