My Higher Power is John Stamos
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
now i know why i became what i already was.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
