What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Im part way to drunk.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
