If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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