My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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