I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize