What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
