You're my little dorito
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
